


rockabye baby, don't you cry (gonna give you all of my love)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [15]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (France), SKAM (Italy), SKAM (Norway), SKAM (Spain), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: DESPITE THE SUMMARY THIS IS MOSTLY FLUFF, F/F, Family, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda, M/M, MAMA RAMETTA ADOPTS ALL OF THE EVAKS, Mama Rametta deserves all of the fucking love, POV Maria Rametta, POV Outsider, all of these kids deserve a mom and Maria gives everyone her love, each chapter is Mamma Rametta with a different character(s), mama rametta visits Antwerp and meets everyone, mental health discussion, this thing is MUCH longer than I'd anticipated, wholesome as fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Maria wasn’t a good mother for years, and she knows that. She will go to her grave regretting the years she spent checked out, in a slump, not getting the help she needed.But she never physically harmed Marti. She never laid a hand on him. (She couldn’t bear it if she had, she knows.)But listening to all of these boys, there are a few things they've said that have made Maria’s heart clench. It’s not just the fact that they have very heavily implied that some of their mothers, when in the grips of an episode, hurt them. It’s also the fact that they had to leave their homes and had to take on the mantle of adult responsibility at unbearably young ages.Tonight Lucas makes a joke about living on a sofa for months, a joke that's followed up by Isak saying “I can beat that- I lived in a basement for months.” That, in turn, is followed by Sander saying, “Got all of you beat. I had to sleep on a bench outside. For days. You know, when I was homeless?”The fact that they can all joke about things like that is good because they’ve all made their ways past all of that, but it still breaks Maria’s heart that they’re all so used to stuff like that that they can make jokes.(Maria Rametta visits Antwerp.)
Relationships: Cristina "Cris" Soto Peña/Joana Bianchi Acosta, Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Mamma Rametta & Everyone, Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck), Milan Hendrickx & Sander Driesen & Robbe IJzermans, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550230
Comments: 15
Kudos: 153





	1. David

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Rockabye Baby" by Clean Bandit.
> 
> Alright, kids. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but things kind of spiralled and now it looks like it's going to be a multi-chap fic, with a goal of at least one chapter posted a day. Each chapter will be Maria's POV on a certain person or people (for example, the first chapter is "David," while the second is "Robbe and Sander") as she visits.
> 
> A note on timing: this fic happens the summer of 2020, after Isak and Even have gotten engaged but before everyone meets Lucas VDH.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this fic! It's really dear to my heart as I personally love Mamma Rametta and what Skam Italia did with her character, and she really provides a new perspective on a lot of stuff that's happening with all the different kids in Antwerp.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this whole fic is going to be in chronological order over the course of the weekend Maria visits, which should mostly explain the order of people that Maria gets a POV on. It's a bit shorter than some of them, but I like it anyway. Hope you all enjoy David, the first of all of our favorites that Maria gets to interact with!

Maria arrives at the airport in Antwerp and is greeted not by her son or by Nico (who is basically her son in all but name by this point), but by David, whose hair is a little longer than it was the last time she saw it, an extra piercing on his right ear, and a smile as bright as she remembers it.

"Welcome to Antwerp, Mama Rametta," he says, referring her by the name that all of Nico and Marti's counterparts (that’s the word Marti and Nico use, right) have taken to calling her over the past few years. "Want me to take your suitcase?"

Maria shakes her head, preferring to pull her small carry-on suitcase herself. Years ago, in the peak (or rather, the valley, the worst months) of her depression, she'd barely have the energy to get out of bed, much less carry around her suitcase, and being able to move it around now sometimes feels like quite the accomplishment.

"No thank you, dear," she says in slow but clear English. She knows that all of Marti's counterparts are fluent in Dutch, English, and their native languages, which she is rather grateful for. Maria herself doesn't speak Dutch, but her English is rather decent, and they all speak in English around her.

(Save Marti, Nico, and to her pleasant surprise, Matteo. Last time around she had plenty of interesting conversations with Matteo in her native language. It was a rather strange but welcome revelation that the German boy was somehow fluent in Italian, and a bit of a relief on her brain not to have to translate constantly.)

David smiles and shrugs. "Alright, then," he says with a nod, easily conceding, "Let's head to the bus so that you can see your son."

They walk in a sort of comfortable silence to the bus stop, David not pressuring Maria to speak- something she is rather grateful for. After an airplane ride, she tends to prefer to stay in her own head for a little while as she adjusts from being stuck in a tin can with a few dozen other people to being in fresh air- especially now, when she's in a country other than her own.

As her mind settles, she thinks about the man who's picking her up. David Schreibner is a rather interesting man. He's easily the most introverted of Marti or Nico's counterparts, somehow even quieter in nature than her own Marti. He has a rather sharp, creative mind and a bright spirit to him.

Maria never really thought much about parallel universes until she arrived in Antwerp two years ago and was introduced to all of them. But once she was, though- she can't stop noticing things. She can see shades of Marti and Nico in their counterparts, and in some of their counterparts, she can see parts of both of them. Marti's quietness but Nico's creativity in David, for example, or Nico's love of animals but Marti's group of friends in Isak.

It's only when they get on the bus that Maria asks, "So how is school going, David?"

"It's going quite well," David says, "Nico, Joana, Eliott, Even, Sander, and I are all working on planning out a film together this summer and complete all the pre-production so that way we can finish it all by the beginning of the school year."

Maria arches an eyebrow even as her mind catches on the last name that David mentioned- Sander, one of the two newest additions to the group, who Maria knows due to Marti's calls home but who she's never met. "I thought that only you, Nico, and Joana went to school together."

David nods. "That we do, but this film project's been approved by everyone's teachers to stand in as an independent study. If we finish it, it can count for class credit for all of us, no worries."

"Well, I'd love to watch it once it's finished," Maria says, and David smiles at her, soft and bright.

"I'm sure we'd all love for you to see it," he says, "I certainly would, at least."

David's expression is a bit guarded, but he looks at Maria like he's looking for a small amount of validation from her and she thinks she understands.

Maria thinks about what she knows about David's parents. He doesn't have a very good relationship with his parents, moving out of the house at a young age, like several of Marti's counterparts did, leaving to live with his sister. She doesn't know exactly why he had to leave, as Marti's never mentioned anything about David's mother having a mental illness, but whatever it was severely damaged his relationship with his parents.

Maria has the feeling that the majority of this weekend, she'll be the sole good parental figure that some of these kids (they may be in their twenties, but when they're Marti and Nico's ages, they'll always be kids to her) have in their lives. She doesn't mind that role- in fact, it actually feels, in a way, like she's making up for the mistakes she made when Marti was a teenager.

"I can't wait," she says, giving him a bright, honest smile in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this fic is almost entirely outlined (with the possibility of one or two extra chapters beyond the ten planned), but I'd love to hear what you guys are looking forward to! This fic will deal with some things that were brought up in the last fic, the one where Eliott, Even, Lucas, and Isak talk about parents and the differences in how the Isaks' mothers' mental illnesses affected their relationships with their sons, but it will also deal with some other stuff, like Maria's perspective on Isak and Even's engagement, her connection to Matteo's depression, her view of Cris and Joana as the only female counterparts, and a number of other really soft maternal moments where she adopts basically everyone. Hope to hear from you all, and hope you continue to enjoy this fic!


	2. Robbe and Sander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me remembering Sander's job at the cafe and suddenly realizing that the cafe that Isak, Cris, Marti, and Lucas study at in the VDH fic could be the same cafe: OH SHIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The small references to Sander's job at the cafe and Robbe's interest in astronomy were set up really early in this series, so if they sound a bit weird in regards to canon, I set them up here.
> 
> Also a quick reminder that the backstory for Sander is VERY different in this series than in canon. Also, Robbe and Sander both still live at the flat, sharing the same room together, even a year later. Robbe never moved back in with his mom.
> 
> Also, sorry for how short this one is! The next one is a bit longer, I promise!

The first night Maria is in Antwerp, Matteo’s volunteered to cook dinner for everyone, and so everyone gets invited over to Nico and Marti’s apartment for dinner and Matteo is given full reign of the kitchen to work his magic.

Maria, in turn, spends time in the living room with everyone, most especially with Robbe and Sander. She didn’t get to meet the two boys on her last trip, so she makes sure to spend time with these two boys and get an accurate evaluation of them.

This rather scientific approach falls apart within minutes, though, as she speaks to these poor kids, who are only sixteen and eighteen, younger than Marti and Nico were when they met each other. And despite that fact, they’re both living in a community flat, Robbe's mother in a clinic and Sander all alone.

Back in Italy, such an idea would be nearly impossible to imagine. Family is paramount, what with the influence of the Church and all, and a kid as young as Robbe living on his own with just some other teenagers and a couple of college students in a flat together would be rather strange. Maria herself is only used to the idea from years of knowing Marti and Nico's friends here in Antwerp.

She tries to imagine what Sander’s situation would be like back in Italy- a queer, abused kid with a family that hurt him.

Maria doesn’t know what would be worse. Sander getting shuffled through the Belgian foster system like he was before eventually ending up homeless, or getting stuck in an abusive household because the government determined that family was more important because of traditional values.

Both ideas sicken her, and she is so grateful that Sander and Robbe have both found a home together here in Antwerp. Despite it not being the most traditional of homes or families, she can see the happiness in their eyes when they speak about the "Flatshare Family" and the life they've gotten to live since they got together back in December.

And so when she speaks to them tonight, nothing but a kind and sympathetic ear, she knows that these kids are soaking up the motherly love she gives them as she hugs them and talks to them all evening. They’ve been deprived of such a thing for years, in Sander's case, and probably awhile in Robbe's, too.

It’s a bit exhausting, being at her most affectionate, but she doesn’t care if she personally is drained or not. Not when there are all of these kids (yes, all of them but Robbe are adults, but that doesn’t matter) that deserve so much more parental love than they’ve been given.

"I just want you two to know that I'm here if you need anything," Maria says when it's getting close to time for dinner, as her conversation with the boys is winding down. Over the course of conversation, she's learned a lot about these two boys beyond just the basics that Marti informed her of. She knows that Sander loves David Bowie and movies, that Robbe's favorite actor is Leonardo DiCaprio and he loves video games, that Sander has a part time job at a cafe that all of the rest of their counterparts visit on a semi-frequent basis, that Robbe visits his mother at her clinic on a regular basis. She knows that Robbe likes to talk about astronomy and stars as much as Marti does biology, that Sander can talk about photography for as long as Nico can music.

(In total, she knows them not just as two of her boys' most tragic counterparts, but fully fleshed out _people_ in their own right- a fact that somehow makes her desire to protect and help them even stronger.)

“Thank you, Mama Rametta,” Robbe says hesitantly, as if he’s not sure if he’s allowed to call her that, and Maria just smiles at him.

“No need to thank me, dear," she says, and she means it.

From across the room, she can see her son looking at her and smiling even as he talks to Cris and Isak about something. It's clear that he's just as protective of these boys as she is, that he considers them his family as much as their comments indicate that they consider him theirs.

It says something, she knows, that her son has carved out a family here in Antwerp. That all of these kids have found themselves a home and family here, among people that understand them, people who will be here for them no matter what.

She couldn't be prouder of all of them for the strength they have to keep going, to keep moving on, to build something out of a world that has torn so much from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these chapters are getting me rather emotional while writing them. Lucas' makes me choked up the most, I've gotta admit, but I'm also getting rather emotional over a later scene from the dinner this night as well as a late night convo with Marti and Nico. (Also an entire chapter revolving around Milan and Mamma Rametta, so there's that to look forward to as well!)


	3. Matteo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is my lovely boy, who's depression is fully discussed for the first time in this series! Yay!
> 
> (But also bonding with Mamma Rametta and everyone teasing each other. Also a little David/Matteo flirting!)

By the time dinner rolls around, Matteo ends up on one side of Maria and Marti on the other. As the conversation shoots up around them, from the sofa to the table to the stools at the kitchen counter (because thirteen people can't fit at one table in a single apartment together), Matteo speaks to her.

“Mamma Rametta,” Matteo says, nailing the Italian accent in a way that none of them save Marti and Nico can. “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What’s that?” Maria offers as the bowls of food are passed around the table. The zucchini hits her and she spoons some onto her plate before passing it on to her son, who grins at her in thanks as he takes the bowl and ladles some of the vegetable onto his own plate.

“Last year I was diagnosed with depression,” he says, voice low, and something in her heart clenches, her face freezing for just a moment as the words sink in. This boy had to deal with everything Marti did relating to his parents and coming out, plus moving out of his own home into a flat, all while dealing with an undiagnosed mental illness? Especially one that Maria knows so intimately well the effects of and how much it can wreak havoc on your life and plans.

A swell of pride rises in her chest, looking at Matteo's messy blonde hair and brave blue eyes. That he went through all of that, managing to graduate high school and find himself a loving relationship and succeed in culinary school (very well evidenced by the well-cooked meal in front of them)- she couldn't imagine pulling all that off at once. Her own romantic relationship fell apart as a result of her depression, as her relationship with her son nearly did, and the only thing she managed to hold onto was her professional life. For Matteo to be balancing all of his relationships and his professional and academic life at once is honestly an inspiration.

But Maria knows well enough to understand that Matteo hasn't pulled this all off on his own. She was on her own, save Marti. Matteo, on the other hand, has a supportive partner and friends who understand and a community of people who support him, who can bring out the best in them.

“Well, it seems like you have a wonderful support network here,” Maria says, because he really does. She knows that Nico has a great support network here, from Marti and Nico's occasional calls home- not just Marti but everyone else here, especially people like Joana, who understand his mind better than anyone else could.

Matteo nods. "I really do," he says, "Everyone's been really helpful with it, just like they've been with everyone else's mental illnesses. They understand when I can't leave my bed for days or when I go non-verbal or when I need help but can't say it. It's not the same as bipolar or borderline or even PTSD, but it's similar enough. And they're all- they're all really great about it."

Down the table, on the other side of Matteo, David smiles at his boyfriend, soft and proud, and she realizes why he was so easy to walk with from the airport, why he never pressured her to speak, how he recognized her need for quiet.

"You have a wonderful boyfriend, too," Maria adds, and Matteo's face lights up as he turns to David with a fond smile. David, in turn, winks at him, despite not knowing a word of Italian. In response, Matteo elbows him, and David just lets out a small laugh.

"I don't know about that, Mamma Rametta," Matteo says, tone teasing, and David rolls his eyes.

"Whatever he said, don't trust him."

"David is the most beautiful man in the world," Matteo says, still in Italian, and Maria can't help but smile fondly. On Maria's other side, Marti and Nico are themselves grinning, able to catch what Matteo's saying to his boyfriend.

"Like I said," David says as he passes a bowl of pasta to Matteo, "Ignore him."

"I don't know," Nico says in English, "Matteo's kind of got a point."

"Oh, so you agree with him, si?" Marti also says in English, arching an eyebrow at his boyfriend, who smiles back at Marti.

"I don't know, Marti," Nico says, batting his eyelashes as he raises a fork of zucchini to his mouth, "What do you think?"

"I think that all of you are very beautiful people," Maria says in English as well, and David's eyebrows rise.

"Did you say I was beautiful, schatz?" David asks, and Matteo ducks his head with a smile, nudging David in the side.

"I think that Mamma Rametta's the most beautiful person in the room, anyway," Matteo says, switching to English, and Maria smiles.

"That's rather kind of you," she says, and Marti nods.

"He's right, Mamma," he says, and something warm blooms in Maria's chest as Nico nods as well.

"You all are flatterers," she says as she takes the bowl of pasta from Matteo to spoon some onto her plate.

"Well," Isak says from his seat at the counter next to his boyfriend. "You're the only woman Marti ever compliments like that. Same for Matteo, too."

Maria arches an eyebrow at her son as she passes him the pasta. "You mean you never compliment Cris and Joana? Figlio, I thought I raised you better."

Marti sputters as Joana nods from her spot on the floor, her back braced against the couch between her girlfriend's legs. The couch is really only made for three and Robbe and Sander are filling up the spots next to Cris, leading her to have to take the spot on the ground. Joana doesn't seem too distressed, though, instead smiling as she calls Marti out. "Si, Marti," she teases, "Didn't Mama Rametta raise you better than that?"

"This is what I get for complimenting my mother?" Marti says with a roll of the eyes as he ladles pasta onto his plate and passes the bowl to Nico. "You all are traitors."

"Glad to be, Rametta," Joana says, saluting him before taking a bite of her food as Cris leans forward and drops a kiss to her girlfriend's hair.

Maria can't help but smile as she takes a bite of pasta, enjoying how at ease both Marti and Nico are among this group of people, teasing and familiar. It's like getting to see them with the boys again, Elia, Luca, and Gio hanging out plenty at the Ramettas' their final year of school before university. Maria almost misses that level of excitement and energy in the house, no matter how tiring it may have been at times, and she's so glad that Marti and Nico have it here as well.

"Fantastic cooking, Matteo," she says to Matteo, once again in Italian, and Matteo grins.

"Grazie, Mamma Rametta."


	4. Cris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's really short but the next chapter is rather long so eh, I guess?
> 
> Also warning for implied child abuse.

Maria has her suspicions about a few of them. About what might have happened when their mothers weren’t well.

Maria wasn’t a good mother for years, and she knows that. She will go to her grave regretting the years she spent checked out, in a slump, not getting the help she needed.

But she never physically harmed Marti. She never laid a hand on him or forced him out of his own home. (She couldn’t bear it if she had, she knows.)

But listening to all of these boys, there are a few things she’s caught Isak and Lucas saying (things they say so casually, as if it didn’t tear them apart years ago) that have had Maria’s heart clenching. Things about the teenage years of some of these children (who cares if most of them are in their twenties- to her, they'll always be kids) that steal the air from her lungs and have her wish desperately that so many things could be different.

And it’s not just the fact that they have very heavily implied that their mothers, when in the grips of an episode, _hurt_ them. It’s also the fact that- and this applies to all of the boys, not just Isak and Lucas- they had to leave their homes at such young ages, had to take on the mantle of adult responsibility at unbearably young ages.

So tonight, after dinner, she hears a snatch of conversation from Nico and Marti's living room. Lucas makes a joke about living on a sofa for months, a joke that's followed up by Isak saying “I can beat that- I lived in a basement for months.” That, in turn, is followed by Sander (who isn’t Marti’s equivalent, Maria knows, but it still breaks her heart as much as it would be if Nico had been the one to have to go through something like this) saying, “Got all of you beat. I had to sleep on a bench _outside_. For days. You know, when I was homeless?”

The fact that they can all joke about things like that is good, on the one hand, because they’ve all made their ways past all of that, but it still breaks Maria’s heart that they’re all so used to stuff like that that they _can_ make jokes about all of that. It breaks her heart that they all had to suffer like that, those poor teenagers, those poor _children_.

"They're doing better, now," comes a voice to Maria's side, and she turns to find Cris looking at her, sympathy in her eyes. Cris is the only one of Marti's counterparts that didn't have to move out of his own house at that young an age, the only one who's mother wasn't dealing with a mental illness but was instead just rather conservative.

"Thank God for that," Maria mutters in her native Italian, but Cris speaks Spanish and so she just grins at Maria.

"Don't really believe in the whole God thing," Cris says, "But I totally agree."

Maria looks at Cris, the only one of Marti's counterparts not to have a mother like Maria was, and she wonders just how different things were for Cris because of that. She wonders what allowed Cris to be so understanding of Joana's borderline, what allowed her to know what to do and how to recognize triggers and oncoming episodes.

Maybe Cris' overbearing mother, even without a mental illness, stifled her in some of the ways that the rest of their mothers did. Maybe she felt just as contained and trapped by her mother. (After all, Maria knows that Cris isn't out to her mother yet, unlike the rest of the boys are.)

Maybe it wasn't anything in particular. Maybe Cris, like Marti and Matteo and Isak and Lucas and Robbe, is just naturally kind and understanding and loyal. Maybe they're just good people, with or without the impact of their mother's illness on their childhood.

Maria can't be sure. But, to be honest, she doesn't think she has to know the exact why. All that matters, at the end of the day, is that these kids, no matter their backgrounds, have found themselves happiness. They've found themselves people who know them and love them and support them.

And at the end of the day- that's all Maria could really ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I know this one is really short, but Cris and Joana get a chapter together later on, so I felt okay making this one a bit shorter.


	5. Marti & Nico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have finally gotten to a scene with Maria and her two boys. Not gonna lie, it's one of my top three favorite chapters/scenes/dynamics in this story (the other two we haven't gotten to yet), and I hope you all enjoy it as well!

Maria can’t sleep tonight. She took her pills, as usual, but sometimes insomnia is a bitch unrelated to her depression and it hits her despite her medicine.

So she leaves Marti and Nico's guest room and finds her way to the kitchen, where she pulls a glass out of the cupboard and the orange juice out of the fridge, then proceeds to pour herself a glass. Usually she'd go for coffee, but it's a bit too late at night for even that.

Before she's even put the jug away, though, a door in the hallway creaks open and she hears footsteps down the corridor. A few moments later Marti emerges, blinking the sleep from his eyes, and for a moment, just a moment, he looks so young. He looks as young as he did the afternoon he’d come out to her, the moment after they’d finally opened the door between them and hugged each other for the first time in ages. 

Then he smiles at her and he looks his true age of twenty-two, looks like the well-adjusted adult in the nearly five-year relationship that he is.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks her in Italian, which is much easier on Maria’s ears than Dutch or English. Maria nods as she puts the orange juice back in the fridge. As she sits down at the table, Marti pulls out his own glass from the cupboard. "I know the feeling."

Maria knows that Marti finally started seeing a therapist for insomnia last year and that his therapist helped him with exercises to work through stressful situations and fix messed-up sleeping patterns. He'd said that his sleeping had evened out rather well- a fact backed up by her own conversations with Nico- but that he occasionally had a night of bad sleep, same as she does.

Marti pulls out a jug of water from the fridge and pours himself a glass as Maria sits down at the table.

"How's school?" she asks. She hasn't really hasn't had an opportunity to talk to him all evening, as his friends had started to arrive this afternoon about when David and her had arrived, and after the whole dinner Marti, Nico, and her had only had enough energy to clean up a bit and then head to bed with a few parting words.

"It's going really well, actually," Marti says as he puts the jug back in the fridge. He crosses the kitchen to sit down at the table next to her, and it's like no time has passed despite how much he's matured. It's like he's seventeen, on top of the world after a Christmas party where she'd met Nico for the first time, and they're sitting down to talk, nothing weighing between them anymore. "Cris, Isak, and I are working on some research for one of our professors over the summer. When Gio visited a few months ago we talked about electromagnetism and it led to Cris, Isak, and I getting a project approved with Dr. Bakker working on cell research and the effects of radiation and magnetism."

Maria doesn't quite understand the terms he's using- her specialty in university was law, not science- but she _does_ understand how happy her son is when using them. He has clearly found a good place and path for himself where he's satisfied by what he's studying.

"And Nico?"

As if on cure, there are some small scuffling noises as someone walks down the hallways. A few moments later Nico emerges, even less awake than Marti was when he emerged. “What’s going on?” he murmurs in Italian.

"Just talking," Marti says, turning to look at Nico with the fondest of smiles on his lips, and Maria herself smiles as she takes a sip of her juice.

Nico's not the first extra son that Maria's picked up over the years. Gio’s been her son for years, since a five-year-old Marti dragged him home after school one day and insisted that Gio was the coolest person he'd ever met. Gio is as protective of Marti as Maria is, a fierce friend and protector to Marti over the years. He's the one who introduced Marti to football and the one who stood up for him and the one who adores him.

But Nico’s different. Nico’s her son as much as Gio is, if not more. Gio is Marti's best friend, but Nico is the love of his life. He's Maria's future son-in-law (she honestly considers him her current one). The way he makes Marti smile, so fondly and so softly, like right now, the way Marti can coax the same response out of him- he’s the boy who loves her son and who her son loves right back. He’s the boy who understands what’s going on inside of Maria’s head, even if it's a slightly different kind of something.

And by now, it's far beyond just his relationship with Marti that makes her so fond of him. It's how he plays piano at the rather interesting Christmas parties she's gotten to attend with him, easily taking requests and playing with skill and love. It's how he always has a smile and a kind word of advice for everyone no matter what's storming inside of his head. It's how he sat with Marti a night during that first year he and Marti had been together, when her meds had been switched and her brain just felt _drained_ , and he'd helped explain how it felt how to be inside of her head. It's how he cares about everyone, not just Marti, about the stories she's heard about his relationships with the Contrabbandieri and David and Eliott and everyone else here in Antwerp.

“How’s my favorite boy doing?” Maria asks quietly, fondly, and Marti lets out a small noise of disbelief even as Nico’s face lights up.

“I thought I was your favorite boy,” Marti protests, but she speaks Martinese well enough to know that he’s not seriously offended.

Despite Nico clearly enjoying the compliment, he shakes his head. “Gio probably is. He's the one who keeps you out of trouble."

"Hey," Marti protests, leaning in to take Nico's hand in his. "I've lived in a different city than him for almost four years, now. Who's my self-control now?"

"Well isn't that obvious?" Nico offers, "It's probably Isak."

Marti snorts. "Isak? He's the biggest troublemaker here other than Lucas. Try again."

"Probably Robbe. His puppy dog eyes can convince anyone to do anything."

Marti tilts his head in concession. "You've got a point there."

Nico smiles at Marti, his eyes glittering even in the dim light from the over-stove light, and then leans in to give Marti a soft kiss on the cheek.

Maria is so proud of both of her boys.

She’s proud of Nico, managing to make it through art school and produce and write music even with his disorder. She _knows_ how inconvenient a mental illness can be, just how horrible being trapped within one's own mind can be.

He's made it so far despite how much the world has tried to stop him. He's a genuine joy to be around, always bringing smiles to others' faces no matter how he personally feels, and is one of the most creative, artistic people that Maria's ever met- a talent that he has used to craft utterly gorgeous music capable of making Maria actually _cry_ on occasion. It's utterly beautiful.

And her boy, Marti, the sweetest kid she’s ever known, selfless and kind- kinder than the world was to him- Marti is everything his father never was. He is loyal and he is supportive and Maria knows that he would never, ever do what Angelo did to her. Marti would never in a million years cheat on Nico, never abandon him, never call him _wrong_.

Maria looks at the two of her boys, her sons, and she has to wonder how Angelo could ever consider them something dirty.

"You're thinking about something, Mamma," Marti says, and she looks up at him from her juice.

"I'm always thinking about something, sweetie," she says, and he rolls his eyes even as Nico chuckles and takes a sip of his drink.

"Seriously. What are you thinking about?"

"How lucky I am to have the two of you," she says, all honesty. 'All honesty' has been the policy that has worked best for her and Marti over the years since he was seventeen and they had their first open, honest, biting conversation in years. That conversation had opened them up for the relationship they currently have now, far closer than it ever could have been before.

Marti and Nico's faces both light up at her words, and Marti reaches out to place his hand on top of hers on the tabletop.

"Well, I'm lucky to have you as my Mamma," Marti says.

"I'm lucky that you're Marti's Mamma, too," Nico adds, and she looks at him, at her second son, at this boy who she can still remember being so nervous when she met him for the first time. She remembers a night, years ago, when Nico had asked her why she approved of him, when she knew the kind of issues that he had with his mind. Maria had told him, as honestly as possible, that all that mattered to her was the smile he put on Marti's face and the way he'd lifted the weight from Marti's shoulders- a fact that holds true even all these years later.

"Now, figlio," she says to Nico, "You know you can call me Mamma, too. It's been years."

Nico's cheeks go bright red even as he nods. She knows that his relationship with his own mother was a bit rocky at the same time that hers and Marti's was, and that it's recovered a bit in recent years- though not as much as hers and Marti's has. "Of course, Mamma Rametta."

"There we go," Maria says, giving Nico the widest smile she's capable of in her rather sleep-deprived state.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Marti asks: "So what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Lunch with Isak and Even, then shopping with Cris and Joana, then probably dinner back here, I'm not sure," Maria says. To be honest, she's kind of shocked that her schedule's that full, that that many people want to spend time with her- especially a bunch of twenty-something-year-olds with surely better things to do than to hang out with a fifty-year-old woman.

"Sounds like you'll have tons of fun," Nico says, not a drop of sarcasm to his tone, and she finds that she completely agrees with him on that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion, we all love Marti and Nico with all of our hearts, but we don't love them half as much as Maria does, right?
> 
> (Also, I totally spoiled who the next two chapters are about in those last few lines, but whatever. Fun easter egg, I guess.)


	6. Isak and Even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me realizing I have no idea if Chris' mom has a canonical first name or not: UH
> 
> But also, here's Isak and Even, with a cameo by everyone's favorite bleach blonde boy!

She catches up with Isak and Even the next day. She’d briefly congratulated them on their engagement last night, but she didn’t really spend much time with them. Now that it's Saturday afternoon, though, and Isak and Even invited her to a cafe for lunch.

“How are you classes going, Isak?” Maria asks, knowing full well that most of his classes he shares with Marti and Cris. Still, she can see how quietly pleased Isak is by her asking after his life, and it's not like she doesn't want to hear about his view of the classes he has with or without Marti.

As Isak speaks, though, her eyes can't help but catch on Isak and Even's engagement rings, which she'd congratulated them on yesterday. As happy as she is for Isak and Even, she can’t help but be bittersweet.

Looking at Isak and Even, at all of these kids, she can’t help but feel loss for Marti.

When Marti had come out, she remembers thinking that he'd never get to have a wedding. Not in Italy.

Maria mourned that loss for him. She mourned the fact that in their country, he'd never get to stand up on the altar and pledge his life to the person he loves, never get to wear the ring of the person he considers the love of his life. Maria is well aware of the fact that Nico and Marti's matched helix earrings are the closest thing they’re going to get to wedding rings for a very long time in Italy.

And then, beyond just the subject of a wedding, Maria also knows that Marti thinks that she doesn’t notice his lack of everyday PDA.

Her son’s always been quiet. He’s always loved the small, intimate things in life, never really been one for dramatic displays of affection or romance.

When he was younger, before she knew that he liked boys, Maria always imagined him as being the quiet sort of partner. He would cook dinner for his girlfriend instead of going out, give quick cheek kisses instead of making out in public, give acts of service instead of extravagant gifts to show his affection.

Years later, Maria learned that she wasn’t entirely wrong. That _is_ Marti, for the most part, cooking for Nico and giving acts of service.

But as for even cheek kisses- well, she doesn’t see those from them unless they’re in their own flat. Her beautiful, loving, wonderful son has to be paranoid about hate crimes back home. He and Nico rarely do anything more than hold hands in public back home, and sometimes not even that. Sometimes, when they're hanging out with the boys in public, or sitting in a cafe with Maria, they'll sit in chairs near each other, elbows occasionally brushing each others', smiles easy but bodies carefully not showing signs of the deep love that they have for each other.

Even when they’re out with their friends here an Antwerp, it's rare to see Nico or Marti's lips brush each others' cheeks, much less connect with each others' mouths, and the absence of the easy affection she knows they show each other within the comfort and safety of their own apartment or within the walls of her and Marti's house back in Rome.

A kiss on the cheek or even a chaste one on the lips shouldn’t have to be considered intimate and inappropriate in public view. Marti and Nico shouldn’t be scared of showing their love in public.

Maria has seen that level of casual affection quite clearly in the other couples here in Antwerp. It honestly amazes Maria, that they can hold hands, kiss in public, without that level of paranoia that Marti and Nico constantly showed back home in Italy.

But despite the disparity in the levels of affection between Marti and Nico and the other couples, Maria supposes that Isak and Even _do_ give her even more hope than any of Marti and Nico’s other counterparts do, in a rather specific way.

Isak and Even are the same age as Marti and Nico, and from the stories she’s heard, they got together the same Christmas that Marti and Nico did. They’ve been together for just as long as Marti and Nico have, and they have those rings on their fingers.

Someday, Maria knows, Marti and Nico will get to have what Isak and Even have. They’ll get to get engaged, and eventually get married, even if it takes years.

And in the meantime, Maria can be happy for the fact that not all of these kids have to wait as long as her boys. Isak and Even- they get to get married to someone who loves them, who won't leave them.

Her own wedding day only brings back painful feelings, nowadays, knowing how the story ends, knowing what Angelo would eventually do (what he would blame on her, despite the fact that Marti learning about a seven-year-old younger brother when Marti was seventeen meant that Angelo's lies were far beyond anything he could justify).

But looking at Isak and Even, thinking about them and Marti and Nico and all of the various versions of them, across countries, across universes- and about them in the minutia, too, in the quiet moments and the day to day support- she knows that they'll never have to look back on their wedding days with regret. They'll never be haunted by _what ifs_ , not when it comes to each other.

There will be the bad days, she knows, but they'll never let them outweigh the good. They'll never let the bad things get between them and drive them apart.

"You all good, Mama Rametta?" Even asks, leaning forward a little with concern starting to wrinkle his brow, and Maria nods.

"Just fine, grazie," she says. "I can't wait for you two to get married."

Isak's face, strangely, twitches, half between a smile and a grimace. "My father doesn't quite agree with you on that, but takk."

Ah. Not every version of Angelo cheated on his wife, but it still seems that most versions are just as homophobic as hers- those utter _assholes_.

(Maria has never met another version of herself, but she has to wonder what they're all like. Her mental illness seems to be the least severe of the group, as she never had to be hospitalized and her son never had to be sent away.

She doesn't think she could ever forget some of her counterparts and what they did to their children. Christine Lallemant and Marianne Valtersen, she can't forgive for hurting Lucas and Isak. Fernanda Soto Pena, Maria can't forgive for not accepting Chris. As for Lotte Ijzermans and Lilli Florenzi, Maria's not sure how she feels about them yet. She has plenty of sympathy for them- and from the way Robbe and Matteo speak of their mothers, their sons love them.

Then again, all of Marti's counterparts love their mothers, no matter what Maria's counterparts did to them, so maybe that's not the best counter in the world.)

"Mind if I join you for my break?" a semi-familiar voice asks, interrupting Maria's thoughts, and Maria looks up to find Sander standing there with a smile and a sandwich and coffee in hand.

"Not at all, kid," Even says, gesturing to the seat next to Maria, and Sander rolls his eyes as he slides into that seat.

"I'm only four years younger than you," Sander says.

"You work here, Sander?" Maria asks, thinking about Sander's comment about working at a cafe.

Sander nods as he takes a bite of his sandwich. "I've been on facilities for the past hour or so- emptying trash cans, stocking the cooler, and everything- but Lotte let me take my break a half hour early when she saw Isak and Even here."

"Aw, she recognized us?" Even says, a fond smile on his lips.

"Not that familiar," Isak says, "She'd probably let you to break an hour early if she saw Robbe. She's rather fond of him."

"Well, Robbe _is_ rather easy to love," Sander says with a soft smile, then turns to Maria. "It's lovely to see you here, ma'am."

"No need for the ma'am, dear," Maria says, "Just call me Mamma Rametta. Or Maria, if that's more comfortable."

Something flashes over Sander's face when she says "Mamma" that softens back to a smile as she offers "Maria." "Alright, Maria," Sander says, and Maria has the feeling that Sander's biological family has even worse connotations for him than any of the counterparts here in Antwerp- a fact that makes her want to hug him right here.

She doesn't press him about it, though. She doesn't want to pressure him on anything. She doesn't want Sander to ever feel pressured, to ever _be_ pressured beyond what he's comfortable with.

"So," Maria says, "Tell me about the project that you and Even are working on with the rest of your counterparts."

And Sander and Even are all too willing to talk about the movie that is currently in the planning and pre-production phase, nearly talking over each other about the parts that they share and politely quieting when the other person's specific area is brought up. The entire time, Isak leans back comfortably in his chair, watching his fiance and his counterpart with nothing but pride in his eyes- a pride that Maria is sure is mirrored in hers as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sander wasn't in this chapter's original plan, but after I made that realization about the cafe when writing chapter 2, he had to make an appearance here. Hope you all enjoyed!


	7. Cris and Joana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are Cris and Joana. I hope that I portrayed them well- as a biromantic woman myself, I related rather well to them, even if I myself don't yet have a partner. Hope it all came through well.

Cris and Joana are like the daughters- or, more accurately, like nieces- that Maria never got to have. She was an only child, after all, and then after her depression crept up Angelo didn’t really like taking her to his family’s celebrations. (When Angelo had first revealed that he cheated on her and asked for a divorce, Maria had missed her sister-in-law, Ludovica, a little bit. But after she found out how Angelo’s relatives had treated Marti when he came out- well, that seed of fondness shrivelled rather quickly.)

Cris and Joana are not exactly your typical image of twenty-two-year-old women- at least, nothing that Maria is familiar with, either from her young adult years or from what she knows of the girls Marti knew back in Italy. They're definitely a bit different than Marti's previous female friends- Maria doesn't think she can find a single detail about either of them that reminds her of Eva or Sana, Marti's closest female friends back home. They're snarky and loud in their love and have a rather dramatic and modern fashion sense and fill every room with their presence.

But Maria could care less, to be honest. She is as fond of the two of them as she is of any of her boys, and besides- Cris is one of the few versions of Marti or Nico that actually likes to shop, and Joana is definitely willing to join her girlfriend when Cris insists on taking Maria to the local mall to shop for clothes. Maria adores getting to hang out with them and enjoy their presence.

Then Cris and Joana kiss in front of one of the shops and it sets Maria to thinking. Maria has to wonder if it would have been easier if she’d given birth to a little girl with red curls instead of a little boy. Would little Amara- what Angelo and her had planned on naming a little girl if they’d had one- have had an easier time of coming out? Would she have been able to find someone who made her feel comfortable in her own skin?

Or would there have been different pressures instead?

Maybe Amara still wouldn’t be kissing her girlfriend in public like Cris and Joana do. Maybe Amara wouldn't feel comfortable tenderly brushing back Cris' hair like Joana does, a fond smile on her lips.

But then again, Maria knows that these motions aren't necessarily coming easy to Cris and Joana. Maria, after all, is all too aware of the problems that girls face. Of the ways that boys sexualize girls, especially those that are interested in each other.

Maria can remember a party that she herself had gone to back in university- a party that she’d actually met Angelo at, for five brief minutes- where there had been two girls kissing and the number of catcalls that they had received as a result by drunk party boys.

Maria's heart aches for the fact that Cris and Joana are likely the recipients of similar perverting behavior. That their love is turned into something dirty by strangers that don't understand the depth of their devotion to each other, that they are turned into sexual objects rather than treated as human beings.

Maybe Amara Rametta wouldn’t have been worried about getting beaten up. But she would have had to go through a lot of problems, anyway. She would have had to suffer the gazes that Cris and Joana have had to. Things wouldn't be easier- they'd just be different.

(And however Amara would have been treated, Maria at least has the comfort in knowing that she herself would treat her daughter better than Cris' mother does. She would accept Amara no matter what, be there for her whatever happens, love Amara's girlfriend in a way that Fernanda Soto Pena doesn't. Maria's sure of that.)

“Mama Rametta,” Cris says, and Maria looks over to see Cris holding up a red blazer and staring Maria down with an evaluating gaze. Her long, bright blue fingernails stand out against the fabric of the cardigan, drawing Maria's gaze for a moment. "I think you'd look great in this."

"Really?" Maria asks, raising an eyebrow, and Cris grins.

"Yep," she says, "It brings out the red in your hair."

"Marti's always wearing all that blue, thinking it'll drown it all out," Joana agrees, "I think he should really embrace the red clothing, too."

"Alright," Maria says, taking the offered blazer from Cris. "I'll try it on."

Maria isn't a spring chicken. She's in her fiftieth year of life, plenty of gray in her hair since she stopped dying it to keep it looking young, plenty of smile lines by her eyes and wrinkles beginning to show on her face and hands. She's long past her shopping prime or her "cool" status.

But Cris doesn't seem to care. Neither does Joana, really. Maria ends the day with that red blazer in hand and several selfies of her and the girls posted on Cris' Instagram- something she never thought she'd see. Maria Rametta, on some cool teenager's Instagram account?

Maria can't help but find herself smiling as she arrives back at Marti and Nico's for tonight's dinner (which will be just the three of them, her and her two boys, instead of the whole group). Cris and Joana- they welcomed her in and hung out with her and seemed to genuinely enjoy her company.

Maria loves her boys. She truly does. But there's something to be said for hanging out with the girls, for getting to see the counterparts of Nico and Marti's with the most different backstory, for getting to spend time with two girls that she thinks she might understand better than any of Marti and Nico's counterparts save Marti and Nico themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I portrayed this well! It's a little different (and a little shorter, sorry) than the other chapters and I hope that I gave the characters the justice they deserve in the length that I wrote.


	8. Milan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Milan and Sander's relationship in this series is, well, I wouldn't say DRASTICALLY different than the show, but a good bit different than the show. When Sander moved in with them back in about episode 6/7ish (so mid November 2019) due to homelessness and everything, Milan became a very clear father figure to him even more than he already was to Robbe (for more information, the second fic in this series gives a lot more details). Sander has come to look to him for advice and, to be honest, the kind of paternal warmth and affection Sander has been denied all his life in this 'verse as first a victim of child abuse and then a foster child.
> 
> Also- Senne and Zoe never broke up, instead working through their issues, and Senne still lives in the flat, as well.
> 
> Also: the title says Milan but plenty of this is actually Eliott, too, so hope you all enjoy that!

Meeting Milan was not exactly planned, but Maria can’t deny that she’s happy that it happened, brief though it was.

“Who’s that?” Maria asks Eliott, who’s standing next to her, previously having been explained the concept for the movie that he, Nico, and all the rest of their counterparts are planning together. It's Sunday night and they're in the common room, Eliott, Robbe, Marti, Nico, Sander, and Lucas, and an unfamiliar man has just entered the room, making a beeline straight for Robbe and Sander, whose faces light up when they see him.

“That’s Milan,” Eliott says, “He’s, well- Marti never moved out when he was a kid, but you know how the rest of his counterparts did?”

Maria nods. She knows that all too well, and she also wishes that that they didn’t have to. No child of that age should be forced out of their own house like that, should have to take on the amount of responsibility that those kids did. She herself has plenty of regrets over the amount of responsibility that Marti had to take on when it came to groceries and everything, but she never would have let it get that bad.

“Well, Marti’s guide in Filippo- for everyone else, they not only got advice from their Filippos, but they moved into a flat with him, usually with one other flatmate and their...Eleonora, was it, there in Italy?”

Maria’s brow furrows. “Isn’t Eleonora Filippo’s sister?”

Eliott also seems a little confused for a moment, but then his expression clears as he processes. “In most of our countries, no. She’s just his flatmate. For Lucas, for example, Eleonora is just Manon, no relation to Mika. But back to Milan. He- and all of his counterparts- sometimes took on a sort of, well, paternal role for a lot of Lucas' counterparts. I think Milan was the strongest, considering what happened with Robbe and Sander, but I’m pretty sure Eskild and Hans came close, too. Mika’s more like an annoying older brother to Lucas, I’m pretty sure- but he loves him anyway.”

Something settles heavy in Maria’s stomach at the tone that Eliott used when talking about ‘what happened with Robbe and Sander,’ close to a sense of dread.

"Eliott," she says, voice as steady as she can make it, "What do you mean, "after what happened to Robbe and Sander?""

Eliott swallows, his gaze darting to Robbe and Sander, who are in the corner talking to Milan. His expresssion flickers, his perpetual smile disappearing, as he says, "Last year, when Robbe and Sander went out for their first date, there were these guys who attacked them and beat them up because they saw them kissing." The pain in Eliott's voice is clear and cutting as if the event only happened yesterday, and Maria understands it deeply. Her stomach is roiling with the horror that these two kids- so young, so undeserving of such pain- had to go through such a thing.

She knows that Sander was homeless, from the conversation she’d overheard her first night here in Antwerp. But she hadn't known _this_. She hadn't known the full extent of what had happened to Robbe and Sander, that the horrors that she'd always been scared of happening to Marti and Nico back in Italy actually happened to some of their counterparts here in Antwerp.

Knowing all of that- her heart _aches_ for those boys. It aches for what they've had to go through and everything that they've survived.

But then Eliott continues: "After Sander moved into the flatshare, Milan, Zoe, and Sander were the ones who convinced them to go the police. Their testimonies finally led to some arrests a few weeks ago. The trial is set to be held in a few weeks. And Robbe and Sander- they're bracing themselves for the trial, but they've got all of us, _and_ they've got Milan, Senne, and Zoe." His expression shifts back to a smile. "They're gonna be all good."

"With all of you, of course they will," Maria says, because she knows they will. After everything that Robbe and Sander have had to go through, they have found happiness and a family that they didn't have before.

Eliott gives her the most brilliant of smiles. "I'm glad you think so, Maman Rametta."

-

It's twenty minutes later, when Eliott's back to talking to Lucas, when Maria's standing by the door texting (yes, texting- she may be old, but she's not _that_ old) Susanna from St. Maria's back in Rome about next weekend's community breakfast, that Milan gets up from talking to the boys and drifts in her direction, about to head out the door.

But when he gets to her, he stops, and she slips her phone back in her pocket. "Maria Rametta, correct?" he says in English, thankfully, and she nods.

"You must be Milan Hendrickx," she replies, sure that she's butchering his last name, but he nods anyway.

"I've met your son- he's such a nice man. You raised a wonderful boy, ma'am," Milan says, all smiles, all warmth, and Maria smiles right back. Milan is about the same age as Marti and Nico, but he’s already taken on the responsibility of providing a home and family for at least two kids in Robbe and Sander, and from what she understands, at least one more in Zoe.

"You didn't do a half-bad job yourself, Milan."

Milan's brow furrows. "What d'you mean?"

"I meant with those two boys. You know that they see you kind of in a parental sort of way, right?"

Milan shakes his head, offering her a smile. "Nah, they don't think of me like that. I'm just the guru."

Her gaze drifts to Sander and Robbe, who just a few minutes ago were talking to Milan, looking up at him in anticipation as they talked, almost looking for his approval or pride in a way that Marti sometimes does to her.

(And specifically, when it comes to Sander, Maria sees admiration and love in his gaze, missing the neutral gaze that he had for her at lunch yesterday. Instead, Sander has nothing but fond, open smiles for Milan- he clearly loves Milan like the father figure he never had.)

"I'd have to say they do," she says gently, and Milan turns to look at his boys, too, his smile shifting from a teasing one to a rather fond one.

"Well, they are my kids," Milan concedes, "If they see me that way, I can't really complain."

Looking at Robbe and Sander, finally knowing the entirety of their backstory, finally understanding everything that these poor boys have gone through, Maria knows that they do. She knows the full extent of what Milan has done for those boys, the ways he's supported and pushed them, the way he looks with them with such pride and love after everything they've gone through.

"No," Maria says, thinking about all of Marti's counterparts and friends back in Rome that call her "Mama Rametta" to this day. "Can't really, can you?"

Milan looks away from the boys and gives her a soft smile. "It's been rather nice to meet you, Maria."

Maria returns his smile. "Nice to meet you as well, Milan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Lucas and I might have cried several times while writing it, so there's that to look forward to, right?


	9. Lucas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys- welcome to the chapter that was the most emotional for me to write personally, and I think for Maria as well. It features some crying, some comforting, and hopefully some closure for Lucas.
> 
> Also, I wrote this chapter entirely to "Someone to Stay" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic. It really fits the mood I'm going for, if you guys want something to listen to.

And then there's Lucas, who's been, well, not exactly _avoiding_ her all weekend, but he hasn't spoken to her. Not one on one. She's caught him looking at her, a few times, and something strange in his eyes, and it takes her until Sunday afternoon to decipher exactly what's off.

Lucas looks at her like he doesn’t quite trust her and it breaks Maria’s heart.

There’s something about Lucas that feels coiled tight. That small man- shorter than her, honestly- is full of stored energy and years of fury just ready to be set loose on whoever seeks to hurt anyone he cares about.

Maria gets that protective instinct. She understands that want to keep the ones you love safe, to not let anyone hurt them, to protect them with everything you have. She understands that desire that sits deep in the gut and straightens the spine and tightens the muscles, the instinct to keep everyone you love from experiencing the same years of pain and betrayal that you have.

So when Lucas comes up to Maria in the hallway that night, something fierce in his eyes, his back straight as a pole, she understands him, though she wishes she didn’t have to.

“Please don’t hurt him again,” he says, voice quiet, and the backs of Maria’s eyes burn at the fact that Lucas has been so hurt by his own parents that he thinks that she could ever hurt her boy.

“I won’t,” she promises, swears, prays, that no one will ever hurt this boy again. Marti has told her that plenty of his counterparts don’t believe in God, but she does- though certainly not to the extent that the priest might wish that she did- and she prays that Lucas will be as protected and loved as possible.

“Thank you,” Lucas says, as he never should have had to say, and Maria can’t hold it back anymore. She steps forward and pulls Lucas into a hug. She can feel him freezing under her arms at first, body stiffening, before relaxing after a few moments and raising his arms to wrap around her.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Maria says quietly, and she thinks her voice might be shaking, just a little, from the sheer depth of emotion bubbling inside of her when she sees this boy who was hurt by the woman who was supposed to protect him to the point where he thought she must have hurt Marti like that. "You were just a child," she continues, "And you never should have gotten hurt."

Lucas lets out a sharp, shuddering breath that rattles loud in her ear, and she continues to hold him.

Maria was not the best mother she could have been, she knows. But she didn't- she didn't do what Lucas' mother did. Her mind never warped itself far enough for her to hurt the best thing in her life.

"I'm so sorry you got hurt," she murmurs, and she can feel Lucas trembling against her arms, this poor boy, and she knows he doesn't want to break, doesn't want to show weakness when he's trying to protect Marti, but she's not someone he has to protect Marti from. "You never should have gotten hurt by someone who was meant to support and protect you."

"I-" Lucas starts to say, but falls silent as his voice breaks. She holds him as he swallows deep, his fingers tightening briefly in the fabric of the back of her shirt, before unclenching and falling flat again. It's like a child would do when scared, she knows, thinking back to Marti as a child, before things got so bad, the way he'd hug her like that when a thunderstorm came through.

 _You deserve so much_ , she thinks as she holds onto Lucas. _You deserve all the love that the world can give you, child._

She can feel something wet fall onto the shoulder of her blouse, bleeding through the fabric, and she realizes that he's crying silently, his body shaking slightly against her embrace.

David needed approval. Robbe and Sander needed affection. Cris and Joana needed easy support from an older female voice. Matteo needed understanding. Isak and Even needed acceptance. Milan needed acknowledgement.

Lucas- he needs gentleness. He needs kindness.

So Maria stands there and holds him and loves him for as long as he needs, until the tears stop falling and the pain stops shuddering its way through his body. She stands there, as she would stand there forever if Lucas needed it, and stays as so few others ever have.

-

After they break apart, Maria heads to the restroom in order to give Lucas some space to wipe his eyes. She understands how much he didn't want to break in front of her any more than he already had, and Maria is more than willing to give him his space.

When she gets back to the living room, she finds Lucas looking far more at ease than he has all weekend. He's laughing along to something that Eliott has said, his back against Eliott's as he sits in front of Eliott on a beanbag, his fingers playing with his boyfriend's. When she enters the room he glances up for just a second before smiling and going back to talking to Eliott, posture still as relaxed as it had been when she'd entered the room.

She can't help but watch, something warm blooming in her chest, as she takes everything in. As she takes in the mural they all made years ago when they first helped renovate this room. As she takes in Sander and Robbe on the sofa as they set out a board game on the table between the two couches. As she takes in Marti and Nico holding hands on the opposite couch as they wait for the game to be set up. As she takes in all of these boys, who have all created a world for themselves and the rest of their counterparts here in this common room.

"You playing, Mamma?" Marti asks, looking up at her, and she smiles.

"Only if Eliott and Lucas are playing too," she says, and said two boys- two men, really, because Lucas may be her sons' age but he is as grown up, in the end, as Marti is- look up at her and smile.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Lucas says, twisting up and out of Eliott's lap in order to stand up. Eliott pouts at Lucas for just a moment before Lucas rolls his eyes and offers out a hand to pull his gangly boyfriend up and lead him over to the table, where the seven of them are going to play Robbe and Sander's game.

As Maria sits down on the sofa next to Marti, leaving Eliott and Lucas to pull a beanbag up to the table to share, she smiles wide at them all, at this family of broken boys that she loves with everything she has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was as good for you guys as it was for me. It meant a lot to write and after writing the last fic, it really allowed me to explore Lucas a lot more, in a way that I've wanted to ever since I first watched him get kicked out of his room and onto the sofa all the way back during Season 3. Lucas, to me, has always felt like the most tragic Isak in several ways (some of which are headcanon based, like how I perceived his mom and dad to be, and others canon based, like the fact that he GOT KICKED OUT OF HIS ROOM AND ONTO THE SOFA DURING ONE OF THE ABSOLUTE WORST MONTHS OF HIS LIFE), and I wanted to give him a little bit of closure in this chapter.


	10. Marti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here is the final chapter! Hope you guys all enjoy it and that you enjoyed all of Maria Rametta in Antwerp, as well as her interactions with each of the counterparts!

“Thank you for everything, Mamma,” Marti, her first son, her first boy, says at the airport where he’s dropping her off so that she can head back to Italy. “Grazie for taking care of them all."

She smiles at him, expression so, so proud. "I didn't do much of anything," she says, "Not compared to you."

And she's honest, really. He's done so much for his friends here in Italy, far more than she's done in this one weekend.

Nico will always be hers. Gio will always be hers. And Maria will always be here for all of Marti’s friends, will be a sympathetic ear to turn to and a mother to hug them and a friend if they need one.

But years ago, Maria told Marti that he was the most important thing in her life, and he still is, to this day. He always will be.

Marti’s was hers, first. He’s always been hers. He is her son, her baby boy, who she held on the day he was born and looked into his eyes and promised him that she would never let him get hurt.

Maria’s broken that promise, she knows. Her heart aches as she thinks about those couple of years where she’d checked out and Angelo had cheated on her and Marti had been left to shoulder what was left over.

Her boy has been so strong. He has been so kind. He has been everything she ever could have hoped and prayed for him to be and then more.

Maria couldn’t be prouder of the little boy in the blue snapback and football jersey who grew up into the man in front of her.

“You know I’m always here for you, right?” Maria asks, and there are tears in his eyes. There so rarely are- her boy, as sensitive as he is, has never been one for cfying- and Maria knows that he's feeling a lot right now.

"And I'm here for you, Mamma," he says with a small smile. "I'm not a kid anymore- I'm an adult. If you ever need help, don't be afraid to call."

For five years now, it's been the two of them. Yes, Gio and the boys have helped, and Nico has definitely as well, but at the end of the day, Angelo hasn't been there. It's been Maria and Martino, mother and son, their tiny two-person family against the world.

"I won't," Maria says, knowing she'll keep her promise. She knows that nowadays she's not a burden on her son. Talking to her therapist has definitely helped with that self-evaluation.

Then Marti blinks. "Shit, I nearly forgot." He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a small scrapbook- strange to see in the hands of a modern-day twenty-two-year-old, she has to admit. "Everyone wanted me to give this to you. Said to say thanks."

Maria blinks as she takes the scrapbook from his hands. It's small- no more than 10 cm x 15 cm- but as she pulls it open, she finds it full. There are several photos and sketches from everyone in there, the various pages decorated in six rather distinct styles. Everyone's signed the inside covers, back and front, leaving small notes by their names. She finds everyone, from Lucas' cramped future-doctor handwriting to Joana's sweeping purple ink to David's black marker block letters to Isak's surprisingly clean script. Gratitude and love in several languages with translations penned in English beneath or beside them.

"Shit," she mutters in Italian, eyes burning with tears, "I can't believe-"

"They've all adopted you as their mother of sorts," Marti says, "I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," Maria says, tears falling down her cheeks as she flips through the pages. "They're basically your siblings anyway."

"I know most of them would love to hear you say that," Marti says, "Though the looks on David, Matteo, Robbe, and Sander would probably hate the fact that they're the babies of the family."

"They all deserve a family," Maria says, "And they definitely have one."

"And so do you," Marti says as Maria closes the scrapbook and slides it into her bag. "I can't hold you up any longer or you'll miss your plane, but I just needed to give you that before you go."

Maria steps forward and pulls Marti into a hug- he's a good half foot taller than he is, but he's still her baby boy. "I love you," she says.

"I love you too, Mamma," Marti says before they break apart. "I hope you come back soon, and I know everyone else hopes you come back soon, too."

"Don't worry," Maria says with a smile, "I'll come back soon. You couldn't keep me away from all of my kids." Then she presses one final kiss to Marti's cheek and turns to leave, a scrapbook full of love in her bag, a family behind her.

"Addio, Mamma!" Marti calls out right before the door falls shut behind Maria.

Maria turns back just in time to reply: "See you next time, Marti!" Still in Italian, because that's the language of her home. Dutch may have become the language of Marti's, but this is hers.

Then she heads on, into the airport, onto an airplane, and back to _her_ home, to her church and her little house and the life she's built for herself in the years since she finally decided to start taking charge of her own life, to not let her depression define her every move.

At the end of the day, Maria is an ex-wife. She is a mother. She is a lawyer. She is a church member and a friend and a family member.

She has made herself into so more than she used to be, all of those years ago. And as she's seen this weekend- so have all of Marti and Nico's counterparts. They have followed their dreams and not let child abuse and mental illness and homophobia and a million other obstacles get in their way of becoming everything they want to be and more.

When Maria settles back in her seat as the flight is about to take off, she can't help but smile as she pulls the scrapbook out of her bag to look at more closely, to see all of the photos and messages that all of those kids gave her.

(God, she's so proud of all of them, no matter how bad some of their handwriting is.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was definitely an adventure! It's a bit hard to say goodbye to Maria's POV, but I hope you all enjoyed her as much as I did. She honestly reminds me a lot of my own mother- who was a divorced mother with clinical depression who had to deal with a queer kid coming out, even if some of the other details were different- and so I hope I poured in as much love as I felt.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this! They really mean a lot and I can't say how much happiness they bring, especially in the stress of an exam week.


End file.
